Hypocrite

I don't get it. I can go without blogging for days, even weeks at a time, but when I finally come back I've got a million things I want to talk about.

Remember how I got all worked up about that speech? The one where my professor didn't allow me to participate because she wanted to reward (and/or punish) year-long behavior? The finals were held about a week ago, and because one student had to take medical leave, a spot opened up. Before our last class, my professor pulled me aside and offered it to me. She told me that she had heard I was outstanding, and wanted me to go. I was rather excited -- until I heard the competition was to be held in 24 hours.

I don't mind looking foolish in front of other people. I do it all the time, without even trying. But I can't stomach the feeling when I let myself down. And frankly, I didn't feel 24 hours was enough time to adequately prepare myself for the type of performance I wanted to give. Still, I delivered the speech in my professor's office and she was sure that I'd do amazingly well if I gave it a shot. But with so much left to do as I approach finals, I passed on the opportunity. And I'm sure it's something I'll think about for a long, long time.

It's nearly 2 AM, and the pills I took make it difficult to sleep. So instead, I decided to work on part of my Appellate Brief for Legal Skills. The first draft of my argument is finished, though it's a bit wordy. 3,000 words. And I've got a lot of work to do left. Several other parts of the brief need to be revised and scruitinized. Aside from that, there are countless outlines that I need to create/update. It's going to be a crazy last few weeks, but I think can smell the beach -- it's less than four weeks away.