Dunzo

Yep. Done. Fin. Over.

Well, at least for now. One semester of law school is "in the books." My last exam, Criminal Law, went about as well as I expected. A few curveballs here and there, but mostly belt high fastballs over the heart of the plate. And unlike too many times in little league, I was able to make the most out of them.

After the exam ended at 11 AM, most of the 1L's headed downtown and made up for all of the lost weekends. While I'm not neccesarilly proud of it, I spent the entire day (minus one hour) in a bar. And yet, I wake up this morning feeling fantastic. Okay, so it's actually the afternoon. And I think I caught some kind of cold. But I don't think I would change a thing.

I'm not sure what to expect, grade-wise, for my first semester of law school. And frankly, I'm not too worried about it. My professor for Crim told us about the concept of "Cosmic Redirection." Basically, it means that I wouldn't fail out of law school; I'd only be cosmically redirected. As if there's some grand scheme for me in life and law wasn't part of it. I can live with that. But for now, I'm not going to spend any time worrying about grades. It's time to enjoy the next two weeks. Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanza, and a Happy Festivus.

Need coffee

I used to wonder how my parents did it. How did they drag themselves out of bed each morning and have productive mornings? I was always exhausted. Now that I discovered the magical power of coffeee, I've found my answer.

I could use some right now. I woke up fifteen minutes ago and don't quite have my regular 20/20 vision in my left eye. Not yet. I think the word I'm looking for is 'bleary.' I'm not going to bother to look it up, because I'd rather leave the space in my brain open for 'Removal.'

In a little over four hours, I'm going to be stoked. I haven't decided whether I'll spend the rest of the day playing poker, buying gifts, or napping. Each of them sound awesome.

Oh yeah, I have an exam soon. Back to it...

Bon Jovi

WOAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'm halfway there.

WOAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Living on a prayer.
Take my hand,
We'll make it I swear,

WOAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Living on a prayer!

Umm, so yeah. Halfway done with finals. Just to prove to myself that the brutality of contracts and property were out of my life (for two weeks), I ripped apart all of my note cards and threw them on the ground. I've yet to clean them up. Side note, as if this entire blog isn't one giant side note, my house is a mess. Food wrappers, outlines, note cards, clothes, and random video game equipment are strewn about. Yes, I've had time to play video games. Well, not really, but I didn't have much of a choice when Ben challenged me to Super Smash Bros, now did I?

I think I did fairly well on contracts. I even texted my non-law school friend that I "BarOWNED" it. Har har. Everyone I've talked to seems to agree with my answers, although I did realize I missed at least one multiple choice question and failed to address a possible defense in the essay portion. Oh well.

As for property, well, one thing is certain; I earned considerably less overall points on that exam than I did on contracts. I pretty much bombed the fourth essay about future estates/rule of perpetuities and the multiple choice didn't go well either. My only solace comes from the fact that other people might have done just as poorly. Besides talking to several people who bemoaned afterwards, I noticed a few people who had barely anything written on their screen at the end of the exam. Heck, one guy I talked to called it the Rule of "Pertuities." I gotta get a few points for knowing the name.

Tommorow is Civ Pro. Correction. TODAY is Civ Pro. It's almost 1 AM. Crap. I'm waking up at 6 AM to re-study a few topics (Venue, Supplemental Jurisdiction, Removal) before the exam. Or at least that's the plan.

Lochness Monster

One of my proctors sounds like Chef's Mom from South Park. I laughed. A lot.

Chef's dad: Say, would you crackers like to hear about the time we saw the Loch Ness monster?
Stan: No, that's okay.
Chef's dad: Ooh, it must've been about seven, eight years ago. Me and the little lady was out on this boat, you see, all alone at night, when all of a sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the paleolithic era, comes out of the water.
Chef's mom: We was so scared, Lord have mercy, I jumped up in the boat and I said "Thomas, what on earth is that creature?!"
Thomas: It stood above us looking down with these big red eyes,-
Chef's mom: Oh, it was so scary!
Thomas: -and I yelled. I said, "What do you want from us, monster?!" And the monster bent down and said, "…Uh I need about tree-fitty." [a long silence follows]
Kyle: What's tree-fitty?
Thomas: Three dollars and fifty cents.
Chef's mom: Tree-fitty.
Stan: He wanted money?
Thomas: That's right. I said "I ain't giving you no tree-fitty you goddamn Loch Ness monster! Get your own goddamn money!"
Chef's mom: I gave him a dollar.
Thomas: She gave him a dollar.
Chef's mom: I thought he'd go away if I gave him a dollar.
Thomas: Well of course he's not gonna go away, Nellie! You gave him a dollar, he's gonna assume you got more!

Thirty Minutes

I'm counting down the minutes before my first exam. The attitudes of my fellow colleagues today are rather polarized: goofy and relaxed, or quiet and judgmental.

Guess which group I'm in? I think the fact that I took time to blog instead of study gives you a good idea...

The First One

Today is my first law school exam. Well, sort of. I did take that one over the Summer but it doesn't count because it was an ungraded enrichment course. Anyways, my tangent might have distracted my reader from the point.

My first law school exam is today. I like that wording better. Perhaps my legal skills teacher isn't such a nut, afterall. Actually, she's probably still a bit insane, but so am I. Once again, I've gone off track. Okay, okay. Let's try this one more time.

My first law school exam is today. It's the third time I've used the word "is," which refers to either the present or the future. So what I'm saying is that I haven't taken the exam yet. It's in the morning. In eight hours, to be more specific.

For my friends outside of California Western: Don't worry, I'll be getting to bed soon. I'm a night owl. Always have been, always will be.

For my friends at California Western: I'm awesome at taking tests. Sucks for you.

I've been doing an awful lot of studying these past few weeks, and frankly, I'm ready to throw away 25% or so of the material. And in 12 hours, I'll be able to. And then it's on to Property. I can't wait.

Malicious Mischief?

Meet Ben, a friend and colleague at California Western. He's a calm, mild mannered law student. Rarely becomes emotional or gets upset. Heck, he was sucker-punched in the face a few months back and suffered a broken jaw. But when he woke up, he wasn't angry. With a smile on his face, all he said was, "Man, that guy did quite a number on me."

WITH. A. SMILE. ON. HIS. FACE.

Well, um, law school must have beat him a bit worse than a random mugger. Today, Ben and I were eating lunch in the Sidebar Cafe, discussing matters related to the upcoming exams. While strategies and drinking diet soda out of a styrafoam cup, he apparently gripped the cup too tightly and crushed it in his hands.

Looks like the 1L stress is getting to all of us. Even Ben.

Self Medicated

In the last few days, I've eaten ding dongs, hohos, chocodilles, and a couple bags of mini oreos. Needless to say, law school is ruining my diet. But it's the only way I can cope.

Before yesterday, I didn't even know what a chocodille was. For those unaware, it's a twinkie covered in a crunchy chocolate shell. Man, I want one right now.

Looks like a law degree might cost me $100,000 and 40 extra pounds. Sweet.

Crunch Time

Ten days. That's how much time I have before my first final exam.

Well, technically nine since it's 1 AM. Bygones.

There's a lot of work left to be done, as I'm afraid I might be behind most of my peers in the studying department. Although I've been hush-hush about it, only two of my outlines are completed: Contracts and Criminal Law. Not surprisingly, those are the two classes I feel best about.

I guess the best way to illustrate how busy I am is that I've only had time to eat a meal once today - at El Pollo Loco. I wasn't that impressed, though the concept of hot boneless, skinless chicken breasts makes me rather hungry right now. But the hunger should pass as it's time to go to bed.

Tommorow's schedule looks like this:

7 AM - Wake Up
8 AM - Class (Civ Pro)
10 AM - Library (Create Flashcards for Crim Law)
12 PM - Lunch (There's a great little Persian place a block away)
1 PM - Class (Contracts)
3 PM - Library (Edit Legal Skills Memorandum)
5 PM - Homework (Briefs for Property, Crim)
7 PM - Home

If all goes according to plan, I *might* have time to hit the gym and re-familiarize myself with the flash cards for Contracts/Crim Law over a freshly prepared meal at home. One can only hope.

Superman Returns

I flew back to San Diego today, after only fourty hours in Santa Rosa. A quick Thanksgiving break, indeed.

In a perfect world, I would have stayed up in Sonoma County through Sunday afternoon and boarded the last plane back on Sunday night. But, no matter how much I might want it to be, we don't live in a perfect world. And in the world I do live in, there's work to be done.

I had the chance to read through my contracts flash cards on the plane, and worked with the subject some more when I got home. It's not exactly how I envisioned on spending my Friday night, but the carne asada nachos helped soften the blow.

P.S. Today, I chose to wear the 'Superman' shirt I bought for my Halloween costume.

Nothing cuter than the five year old who gazed at me in awe, only looking down at his shoes when I caught his glance. He giggled, tugged on his mother's arm, and pointed at me.

"Mommy, mommy, that's Superman!"

A World Without Weekends

Argh.

I just typed out a long-ish blog about how law school is changing me. For the worse, most likely. But I'm too frustrated to explain it again in detail, so I'll do it in outline format.

Before Law School
- Things that make me happy: Nearly everything
- Saturday nights: Drinking, laughing
- Mornings: N/A
- Sleep: Until I felt like waking up

Now
- Things that make me happy: Food, Liquor, Gym, Arguing (and winning)
- Saturday nights: Drinking, crying
- Mornings: Start at 8 AM
- Sleep: Huh?

I'm an egostistical, alcoholic, sleep-deprived, meathead.

One Month Hiatus

I figure it was bound to happen. Work piles up and the blog fails to be updated. I could have written that sentence as "I fail to update the blog," but I made the conscious choice not to because it's the only time I can write it that way without having Ruth Hargrove crush my soul. Thanks, Legal Skills!

So, yeah, the workload has increased a bit. More of my weekends are spent indoors than I'd like, especially when I live in such a beautiful area. Oh well. Another month of this, and I'll get a cushy two-week break. I think I'm going to take a trip to Vegas at some point during the break, which is feasible considering I don't have to go home for Christmas. I still should see my family, though. Maybe I'll take a few one-ways. A few people from class are thinking about heading to Vegas as well. Fine by me, although if they talk about law school, I'll leave them in the desert. Side note: I originally wrote that as "dessert" and now I'm craving something unhealthy.

Apparently, law school is supposed to make me more logical. It hasn't. In fact, it's the exact opposite. I was watching a movie today and found myself welling up a bit. Not good. It's even worse when you consider that the movie was an animated film. About Superman. Yes, that's right; I nearly cried at Superman. In my defense, it was the one where he "died." I could explain the entire scene, but the fact of the matter is that law school is making me more emotional. Weird.

Blink

Wasn't it Friday afternoon an hour or so ago? I'm not entirely sure if time flies on the weekend or maybe it's just that the actual week drags on and on. And on. This past weekend, I had set a few goals and accomplished exactly zero of them.

1. Catch up on sleep

I'm more tired, at the moment, than I was at any time during the week. Not good. It's to the point where I refrain from laying down on my couch for fear I'll accidentally fall alseep. It's happened before, and it happened again to me today -- During Sunday Night Football, no less. Perhaps I would have been more interested in staying awake if I had any of the Jaguar or Steeler players on my fantasy football teams.

2. Get ahead with schoolwork

Nope. I finished my assignments for Crim on Saturday but it's been a struggle to open the book since then. I was hoping that I could get some of the work for Property and Civil Procedure out of the way but at least I'm already caught up in Contracts since my professor is always one lecture behind.

3. Make an outline for at least one class

I'm nearly two months into the semester and I have yet to pump out a single outline. I'm going to use the next few hours before bed to get a rough version of a Criminal Law Outline down, but I'll still have a lot of work to do.

So far, I think the most interesting part about law school is that the individual work, on a day to day basis, isn't too difficult. Time consuming, perhaps, but it's not intellectually exhausting by any means. The true rigor comes from the fact that the same workload, over the course of a week or two, begins to wear on you. I had days like these in undergrad, but the difference is I've never had to deal with it over a sustained period of time. My only saving grace is that I've got Thursday off, which means I'll be in a fantastic mood Wednesday afternoon. Or I'll be alseep.

Case of the Mondays

I need to write shorter blogs. Besides the fact that longer blogs are obviously more time consuming and take away from other ways to unwind, I've recently been told that people aren't reading all of it. So from now on, I'll be, for lack of a better word, brief.

It was my birthday on Friday, which meant I spent the entire weekend in a state of mind that wasn't exactly conducive to professionalism. And because of my actions, I'm now forced to pay for it this upcoming week. I've got a significant writing assignment due Tuesday which has been confusing, to say the least. I'm normally on top of that sort of thing, but I've been perplexed by the lack of direction given to me and my fellow colleagues.

(Doesn't 'colleagues' sound so much better than 'classmates?' I think so.)

I'll spend tommorow and most of Tuesday morning hammering out the best work I can, but I'm positive that it won't be nearly as polished as the peice I'll be able to write once I actually learn what I'm supposed to do. While I asusme that's standard operating procedure, I wonder if I'm going to feel some artificially inflated sense of 'improvement' after I compare the critiques of this first submission with the eventual second. I guess I'll have to wait and see.

Sleeping in > Civ Pro

I've got a brutal schedule. Brutal for me, anyways. Twice a week I'm forced to drag my exhausted carcass into class at 8 AM. The other days aren't as bad, I guess, but they're still rough on a guy who has spent the last year waking up at his own leisure. To make matters worse, the 8 AM class is Civil Procedure, and it's only taken me a few weeks to realize that it's my least favorite subject. Combined with the fact that my section is taught by a man who I've heard classmates refer to as a "Nazi" and "The Anti-Christ," I knew it was only a matter of time before I'd lose the energy to get myself out of bed and succumb to the warmth of snuggly* sheets.

*Yeah, I said snuggly. Why? Because they are.

That day came a week ago, Thursday. I woke up a bit late, but with more than enough time to eat, shower, and walk the five blocks needed to reach room 2B of California Western's main building. But no. I'd briefed the cases the night before, felt confident about my understanding of them, and chose sleep over ridicule.

For those who haven't had Stiglitz, let me explain. Most of my other teachers are more of the nurturing mother archetype; they'll ask guiding questions, in a soft, friendly tone, and laud you for what you gleaned out of the case. Stiglitz, on the other hand, is the hard-ass father you'll never be able to please. Nothing is ever good enough. And he'll not only let you know how badly you fucked up, but he'll tell the entire class. Needless to say, he's not a favorite among the students I've spoken with.

To be fair, I actually kind of, maybe, like the guy. He's a bit intimidating, sure. No one wants to have their intelligence picked apart by someone who inspired one half of the grumpy old men who heckle the other characters on 'The Muppets.' But all kidding aside, I think I'll get more out of his class than any other in which I'm currently enrolled.


He does look a bit like Statler (right), for what it's worth.

A few days ago, I was randomly called on to inform the class about Rush v. Maple City Heights, which dealt with a the civil version of double jeopardy. In truth, I didn't feel that confident about the case before class began. And I felt my heart skip a beat when he incorrectly pronounced my name, but god forbid I correct him that it's "Buh-Row-Knee" and not "Buh-Roe-n." I didn't even get through the facts of the case before he acosted me for my use of the phrase "said bicycle." The class seemed to enjoy his bewilderment with my verbage, but I didn't understand (and still don't) why it was so funny. Despite that, I was able to accurately explain the inner workings of the case and felt amazingly proud of myself afterwards. More importantly, I now know that case better than any other case I've studied so far in law school.

Still, that's unlikely to keep me from catching up on much needed sleep. The great feeling I referred to earlier in regards to discussing a case in front of the class still can't compare to those snuggly sheets.

Mens Rea

When I visited California Western in the early part of 2008, I did it with reservation. I had heard that law school had a 'cut-throat' atmosphere; that people were only looking to further their own professional prerogatives and subsequently, weren't looking to make friends. From a logical standpoint, it made sense. It's only natural for people to want to help those close to them, but each 'friend' is also an adversary. Does that mean people will shy away from sharing notes, getting together for study sessions, or being amicable with one another? I feared it might, but each advisor at California Western looked me in the eye and assured me, "it's different here." Only one week in to my first year, I've stopped drinking the Kool-Aid.

I'm not saying I haven't enjoyed the company of several colleagues at California Western. Notice how I used the word colleagues; I can only consider a few to be friends. It's partly my fault, since I can appear standoff-ish at times, especially when I'm wearing dark sunglasses and listening to my iPod. But truth be told, I wonder if the difference lies in my state of mind.

Last Friday, California Western sponsored an event at a local club called 'Stingaree.' While I'm not a fan of the place, I was enticed by the thought of bonding with several other colleagues. Having an open bar didn't hurt either. Unfortunately, I quickly found out that this wasn't really a "meet and greet" environment. I remember a similar situation that occurred during my first few weeks of undergrad at UC Davis. A friend of mine had recently moved into the dorms, and I accompanied him to the complex's highly publicized 'Ice-Cream Social.' When we arrived, the room was quiet and people were looking at their shoes. I remember telling my friend, "They should have called this the Ice-Cream Antisocial."

On the first day, we were subjected to a speech about professionalism. About maturation. Maybe this is a step in the process. I'm fully aware that exams are important. I'm fully aware my grades will likely determine the employment opportunities I'm given in the near future. But I don't think it will affect my happiness as much as the personal relationships I build with people over the course of my life. Or at least I hope not.

The First Day

Once again I find myself up late at night when I should be in bed. Foreshadowing, perhaps? The good news is that class begins at 10:50 AM instead of 8 AM, so I probably won't show up late like I did this morning.

My alarm went off at 7 AM, and I slammed the snooze button. My phone alarm clock rang a minute later and I knocked the thing to the floor. That helped quiet the incessant ringtone, but at the cost of a broken phone (Silver lining: I got a new phone). When I finally stirred and groggily pulled myself out of bed, I noticed that I only had twenty minutes before the start of class. Shit. So I took a speedy shower and hustled down Cedar St. towards campus. Unfortunately, there was a slight problem; I had no idea where class was being held.

My schedule read 'AUD.' In my sleep deprived stupor, I needed a minute or so to figure out that it meant 'auditorium.' Too bad I didn't know where the auditorium was. Luckilly, I encountered a sign near the front of the main building that told me our class had been moved from the auditorium to 2B, but by the time I arrived, it was 8:05.

I felt awkward walking in late to a post-graduate course, but I was able to make my way to the back without much fanfare. A few others came in after me, which made me feel a bit better. Twenty minutes later, however, Professor Stiglitz lectured the class about arriving late. He called our actions "rude, unprofessional, and unacceptable." A laywer could never tell a judge 'But your honor, I overslept.' Fair enough. Besides learning 'how to think like a laywer,' we're supposedly being taught how to 'act' like one. Like a professional. And as much as I'd like to disagree with him, I can't. He's right. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm likely going to show up late again. I, like many people, struggle to get up in the mornings. The last year of my life hasn't exactly helped matters, since I was able to set my own hours and wake up when (gasp) I actually felt like it.

If I could, I'd simply avoid going to class on mornings where I'd be tardy. But I can't. The dreaded roll sheet is passed out each session, and if I miss a certain number of classes, something happens. I'm not entirely sure what that 'something' is, but it probably has to do with a lower grade or losing credits. Anyone else notice the blatant contradiction that they've created here between 'treating us like professionals' and roll sheets? Because I do.

A few minutes later, the Professor made quite an impact on the class when he covered his despise for laptops. He told us that people are often easily distracted and choose to check e-mail or surf the web during class, and while he has no problem with an individual person daydreaming, doing it electronically disturbs the people behind you, which is "unacceptable." Logically, his argument falls apart if no one else is distracted. I was *this* close to raising my hand...

"What about those of us in the very back row?"

...but I thought better of it.

I had heard Stiglitz preferred to use rooms with a camera in the back that he controlled form the podium, and frequently used it to check on students' computer screens. If he found them to be off task, he would pick on them repeatedly. I didn't think much of it, until I saw the camera mounted against the back wall. But it's lack of movement (and poor angle in relation to me) made me feel much better. Until of course, he mentioned that he had hired a 'tutor' to tattle on anyone who was off-task.

I've met the tutor before. Her name is Renee and she was my TA for the Summer Enrichment course. Seemed nice enough. Helpful. But if I hear of her actually ratting out one of the students, I'll lose all respect for her.

We didn't do much else today, so apparently the lesson I learned is that law students are treated as both professionals AND children. Oh, and that I might need to take daily naps. Hopefully the one I took this afternoon will suffice for the sleep I'm going to miss tonight, since I've got to brief a Contracts case.

Tick Tock

It's 1 AM. Thanks to a poorly designed schedule, I have my very first law school class in less than seven hours. But I'm not too worried about it.

Instead, I've spent the last hour deciding on the web address of my blog, and finally settled on one that arises out of a not-so-famous lawyer joke.

Q: If you see a lawyer on bicycle, why should you swerve to avoid hitting him?
A: That might be your bicycle.

Believe it or not, I didn't create this blog to highlight hacky lawyer jokes. Besides, I actually liked that one much better than the others I've been forced to listen to once my friends and family heard that I had been accepted to law school. But I digress...

While I hope current and future students can identify with the path I plan to write about over the course of the next year, my motivation for creating this blog is selfish. Having some type of outlet to bitch, moan, and complain over the next year may just help me maintain my sanity. Or at least what's left of it.